The Evolved Male

"Live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be"

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An important aspect to meeting any new girl is setting up the next meeting. It’s that simple. Forget all the phone games, text messages, email etc for now. You need to make sure she’s going to meet you again. So you must be charming and attractive. You gotta make sure her buying temperature is hot before you sell.

The first encounter with a new girl will give you a big rush. For those who are more sexually active, if you don’t capitalize on these emotions quickly, someone else might just come in and close her first. You have to use your anticipation and excitement to your advantage. Turn your nervous energy into excitement and interest. Instead of being on the defence and staying quiet, be the guy who’s willing to talk to her and make her laugh, . Create that conversation to grab her interest, and when the timing is right, tell her you’re taking her out again. Yes, tell her, if you’ve done it right, you won’t need to ask to take her out again. Don’t wait until the initial meeting over and then ask her via text/phone/email. If she’s available right now and green-lighting you, do your job and close it. She probably won’t be available for long.

The easiest way is to simply find a common interest. There are a number of things you both have in common that would allow you the opportunity to take her out again. Even when you do find a common interest, you have to make sure the signs are there before you sell; just because she says she wants to see a certain movie doesn’t mean she wants to see it with you; just because she wants to see a basketball game doesn’t mean she wants to attend it with you. If she really wants to go with you, she’ll ask you or make a subtle suggestion. But if she doesn’t, you could always just man up and make the suggestion to her. Don’t take it personally if she says no. There are a number of a reasons why she might say no but still have interest in you.

In my experience, I’ve had girls who have said no to trying out certain restaurants but yes to a baseball game. Conversely, some girls just don’t like basketball games and would prefer to grab a drink instead. It’s all about calibrating and figuring out who you’re talking and what works. No single approach will work all the time. No single outing idea will appeal to all girls.

The second point of today’s entry is yourself. What makes you so special that she should want to hang out with you? What justifies you in asking her out? Why should she say yes to you?

I think too many guys fall into the trap of thinking ‘well, if I ask her out, she should just want to say yes.’ This is a very dangerous train of thought as it leads to silly things like unrealistic expectations, anger, frustration and misogyny. Guys, don’t be stupid, k? If you want her to say yes, you have to give her a reason to. If you want to see her again, she has to not forget you. When we were growing up, we were always taught that you get what you work for - girls are no different; you get what you put into it. Knowing weaknesses, improving upon then, and then applying your strengths is real-world social situations - this is the work I am speaking of. Some people have it naturally, most people don’t. For those who don’t - you need to do work.

Let’s face it, relationships and dating are not sugar-coated straight forward things. It’s a game; a game with winners and losers. The winners strive to improve themselves and their partner. The losers stay where they are with their heads down and hands in their pockets, complacent with not getting anywhere. Do you want to be a winner or a loser?