The Evolved Male

"Live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be"

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Posts tagged "conflict"

Before you continue, I want to be absolutely clear and reiterate that, despite the nature of this post, I am not a misogynist. I’ve always respected the female gender as it truly is the better half of humanity.

The following scenario can/has/will happen(ed). The relationship between the guy and girl is irrelevant as you will clearly see that this happens between any guy and girl.

So the guy goes to the fridge and gets some ice cream to enjoy. He’s met with the glare of the girl and a cynical ‘Thanks for offering me some.’ A couple of days later, the guy wants some ice cream again. But this time, he’s a little smarter, he’s learned from his previous mistake! On the way to fridge, he stops by the girl and says ‘Hey, you want some ice cream?’ The girl coldly replies ‘If you want ice cream, just get it - no need to ask me!’ The guy is dumbfounded and speechless. He’s not sure if he should be ashamed or pissed off…but there’s one thing he’s sure of - he’s confused.

Guys, this happens. It’s probably happened already…and it’s likely to happen again and again.

Girls, empathize with us, okay? You know as well as we (guys) do that you say these kinds of stupid things all the time. In fact, in most cases, these kinds of ‘discussions’ usually conclude with ‘I thought you knew me better than that.’

See, that’s a low blow. How do we respond to something like that? If we say we do know you that well….it’s like setting a trap. Sure, the next we do something nice, it’ll be great, but the next time we f*ck up, we’ll get the same line again and to make things worse, there’s a good chance you’ll withhold sex…again. On the other hand, if we’re stupid enough to respond with something like ‘I guess I don’t know you that well,’ I suppose that any guy stupid enough to respond with something like that deserves to be bitched at.

Bitching is not cool, getting bitched at is not cool. But we (guys) have come to terms with the fact that it’s inevitable. Does that make it acceptable? Most guys would say no but being evolved guys, we’ll say…yes, within reason. Let’s face it, guys are dumb, guys are clueless and guys just can’t seem to understand the intricacies of the female thought process. Girls, don’t fault us for this, okay? Even you don’t understand your own thought process - don’t agree? Are you sure? Then why is it that the scenario that I gave you in the opening paragraph made you giggle?

Guys, we’ve come to terms that we can’t stop the bitching - it’s going to happen. Don’t get upset and exacerbate the situation by yelling back. Yelling back and getting angry is pointless. Females are creatures of emotion - they act, think and are motivated by their emotions. We, on the other hand, act, think and are motivated by sex and boobs….and booze. The point is that if we get emotional, we get pulled into their world. We start to bitch at them for the same reason they’re bitching at us - we begin to bitch because of our emotions. As guys, how we can possibly allow that happen? If we get annoyed because of bitching we don’t understand, how can we, in turn, do the same thing to our counterparts?

On the other hand, don’t stand down and take the bitching for no reason. If you’re being bitched at and you don’t know why…and it’s happening over and over again - isn’t that a sign that you should figure out just WTF is going on? If you do nothing to better the situation, then you deserved to be bitched at. If you’re not willing to put in the effort to figure out the cause of bitching, then you should be bitched at. Let’s face it, despite what you guys think, the girls aren’t there to bitch at us because they enjoy it. 

Take a step back and think what caused the bitching? What turn of events landed you in the current precarious situation? Was it within your control? Did you f*ck up again? What steps can you take to mitigate future bitching? What steps can you take now to resolve this?  (on second thought, better just to let her say her piece first while you run through the aforementioned questions I just asked)

I’m not going to tell you how to stop the bitching because simply - I can’t. There’s no way to stop it. It’s like all other things that are constant in life - death, taxes, and gravity. Instead, what I can suggest is for you to be a little wiser and learn from each bitching.

Our co-existence with girls is about balance - it’s based on give-and-take. We f*ck up, they bitch, duh - obviously. They f*ck up, we tell them what they did wrong and hopefully, that fixes it…girls are smarter than us, they learn from their mistakes. They get upset, they bitch, duh - obviously. We get upset, we talk it through with them, explain things to them and get things fixed. As guys, we should naturally want to fix things. We should naturally take charge in keeping the calm around us. If we can look at a renovation, car restoration or other projects that involve fixing things with enthusiasm - why can’t we look at our relationships the same? We should show the same enthusiasm when reflecting upon our relationships with people, after all, it’s just another thing to fix….ESPECIALLY if it’ll help mitigate the bitching.