The Evolved Male

"Live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be"

Recent Tweets @
Posts tagged "funny"

Original article is here:

Laughter is the best medicine and a great icebreaker for a first date, as a sense of humor is as the number one turn-on for many women. But it’s one thing to have a great sense of humor, it’s quite another to have everyone in stitches. 

Chill out

Okay, the first thing you need to do is relax. No one’s going to throw tomatoes at you if you strike out, and you’re not going for some life-altering test. You just want to add some spice to your life and conversations, and appear more easygoing. 

So don’t put so much pressure on yourself — you just want to get people to laugh, or at least smile.

Don’t take things seriously
Ease up on life and yourself; get used to taking things with a grain of salt. See the humor in situations; you’ll see that most situations, even getting a $200 dollar speeding ticket or falling down on a banana peel have humor written all over them — the trick is finding them and being able to laugh at yourself.

Be pop culture savvy
You can’t be funny if you don’t have any references or material. The broader your general knowledge is, the funnier the remarks you’ll make. You can’t say a Homer-esque comment if you don’t know who The Simpsons are, and Allllrrriiighttty then! doesn’t have the same effect if you’ve never seen Ace Ventura: Pet Detective .

So the more you know film, TV, music, and everything pop culture, the greater the chance of being funny. Broaden your horizons and stay up-to-date with current events in the news, and you’ll be surprised at how much material will randomly come to you. You may even get to be someone’s lifeline on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? .

Don’t imitate others 
You want to know about famous actors and comedians, but by the same token, you don’t want to get caught using someone else’s material. So rather than reciting that great Chris Rock line you heard the other night and passing it off as your own, use the joke in Chris Rock’s intonation. That way, people know you’re using his joke, and it can still be considered hysterical.

Or, if you’re stuck waiting in a department store line with your buddy for 45 minutes, and when you finally get to the cash, the cashier just refuses to let you return a sweater that has a defect on it, say something like, “This is such a Seinfeld situation,” thereby giving Jerry credit while getting a laugh or two.

Find your style
Another reason to avoid imitating actors and comedians is because it may not suit your style. If you’re not a very sarcastic or cynical person, it makes it hard to imitate someone like David Letterman or Chandler from Friends (besides, your friends will get annoyed when you keep saying, “Could this BE more [fill in the blank]?”). If you’re rather quiet and subdued, it’ll be nearly impossible to take on Robin Williams’ or Jim Carrey's humor.

You can always take bits and pieces of others’ humor, but you’ll want to adapt your shtick to your own style and personality — in turn, this’ll be easier for you and sound more genuine as you won’t have to try as hard.

Have a joke pool
You never know when a situation calls for a joke, like if you’re at a lame party, chatting with some acquaintances. This is where a reserve of jokes can come in handy. Humor yourself with a joke a day to take a break from your daily tasks, and keep the ones you like best in mind. That way, you’ll always have several in stock for when the time is right.

Of course, you don’t want to break into your best “A rabbi, a priest and a nun walk into a bar…” joke in the middle of a conversation with your manager, but you’ll know when to resort to your pool. One-liners and witty comments are the best to have, as they can be used in many contexts.

Know your audience
There’s a time and a place for everything, and just like you need to know your audience when giving a speech, you need to know whom you’re delivering a joke to. This said, save the dirty jokes for your friends, and the witty comments for your girlfriend’s parents.

Get your delivery and timing right
Being funny isn’t only about telling great jokes; it’s all in your mannerism, attitude, how you project yourself, and your delivery. Be animated and alive when you speak, and you can make any story funny.

Make eye contact with people, speak with confidence, and everyone will want to hear your stories. On the other hand, if your humor is more dark, sarcastic, or neurotic (a la Woody Allen, Steven Wright and George Costanza), then play the part and talk in a monotonous voice. Your delivery has to go with your humor, and if your timing is off, then it can ruin the entire joke.

Use people as props
You’re not Carrot Top so drop the props. Rather than using objects as props, use people (I didn’t say to use people as the butt of your jokes). What always gets a rise out of the ladies is trying to sell things to strangers on the street, like selling your wallet to an old lady. Or start talking to your invisible friend — just make sure others know you’re kidding around and haven’t gone crazy.

Don’t worry about bombing
Your goal isn’t to strike a 10 on the Laugh-o-Meter, and every great comedian bombs every now and then. So don’t worry if no one gets your joke — just ignore it or laugh at yourself, and whatever you do: do not delve into your bag of jokes and continue trying to make everyone laugh — you don’t want to try too hard.


Develop your own persona


Smiling is infectious, so if you smile a lot while talking, it’ll encourage others to laugh.

  • Be animated and energetic when you’re telling a story, it’ll make your stories more interesting and captivate listeners.
  • Be blunt; this usually takes people by surprise and can end up being pretty funny.
  • Make sure your timing is right.
  • When telling a joke, don’t laugh before the punch line.
  • Be creative. It’ll inspire you to be funny.

Remember, you don’t need to be the life of the party; being funny is just a great asset as it makes you look easygoing and approachable, helps you handle certain awkward situations, makes you more sociable, and is a great turn-on to women.

But while you want to be funny, you don’t want to be the office clown. If you’re typecast as the joker no one will ever take you seriously, so know when to be funny and when to be serious, or the joke will be on you.


Part 4: Good Health

Having social qualities is important, not only in being attractive but life in general - let’s face it, life is going to be quite a bit more difficult and awkward if you don’t know how to deal with people. In addition, people are simply attracted to people who can carry themselves well in social situations.

Here are a few of my own personal practices, take and choose what you want:


Be like Bill

I’ve had the pleasure of attending an event where Bill Clinton was a guest speaker, and let me tell you, that dude is smooth and charming. It got me wondering why people liked him so much despite his history. I made careful observations of how he talked to people and figured out why he’s so awesome. Bill talks to individuals as though they are the only ones in the room. He makes them feel comfortable and appreciated when he talks to them. He maintains eye contact and he speaks in a calm and collected manner. He’s confident in what he says and when he’s not sure, he has not reservations about eliciting opinions of others. Be like Bill.


Assume that all females want to sleep with you.

Yea, this one is weird, some of you will appreciate this one, others will probably be offended. In any case, I talk to all members of the opposite gender with the assumption that they want to sleep with me. Now, this doesn’t mean that I actually carry out with that assumption (obviously, because that’d be just f*ckin weird) but what this does is help with confidence when you’re talking to someone you don’t really know. Here’s why it works for me; the notion that all females want to sleep with me is ridiculous enough - that fun and hilarious mindset is carried over into my demeanour. It lightens the mood and allows for a more casual composure, as opposed to the guys who are stressed, awkward, and generally weird to talk to. As such, I suppose I come across as a fun person to talk to…I can confidently say: it’s hard not to like me.


 Listen, not hear

I have a natural curiosity for everything. Those who know me can attest to this as I tend to ask questions and provide my own insights into things, isn’t that what having a conversation is all about?

People hear, but they don’t listen. A person speaks at a rate of 120-150 words per minute. The brain is capable of processing approximately 500 words per minute. So when we’re engaging in conversation, we’re only using about a quarter of the ‘bandwidth’ of our brains - so what does the brain do with all the extra ‘vacant bandwidth?’ It starts to wander.

It starts thinkin about anything - some people start thinking things they have to do later on, which explains why people seem so absent minded sometimes. While others may think ‘ahead of the conversation’ and make assumptions about where the conversation is going, which explains why some people are judgemental and assuming.

On a few occasions, peoples’ random thoughts slip into conversation. Once, I was having a conversation with someone and my mind started to wander off and started to think about…


When the person paused, it cued me to respond since they were waiting on a response from me. Having completely been tuned out for the last 10 seconds, I meant to respond with ‘I understand exactly what you’re talking about, I know all about it.’

I don’t think I need to explain how funny yet awkward it was when I actually said ‘I understand exactly what you’re talkin about, I know all about tits.’

With that being said, instead of letting your mind wander, use the extra ‘bandwidth’ to think about engaging questions on the subject matter. If not questions, consider providing some feedback or opinions of the discussion at hand. Ask the engaging questions that allow your counterpart to talk more about the topic if they’re showing excitement and great interest in it. Or redirect the conversation if they don’t seem to care much about it - use the bandwidth to craft how you’ll transition to the next topic.

….and stop staring at her tits!

I’ve always been of opinion that people are inherently bad. I was inspired by a brief glimmer of goodness in people on Friday night. I was having dinner at a restaurant with a friend when our meal was interrupted by a concerned and frantic lady. She asked me if I was the owner of the red vehicle parked outside, and I said yes. She told me that her and her friends witnessed someone hitting my car and driving away, she had captured the offending vehicle’s license plate. I went outside to inspect my vehicle and found that there was no damage to my car. The group of strangers insisted that I track down the culprit and make him ‘pay’ for the ‘damages’ - I insisted not to since there was no actual damage. One of the gentlemen mentioned ‘you wouldn’t want someone making an illegitimate claim against you, would you?’ - I agreed with the guy. The kindness of these random strangers made me question my belief of people being naturally born as ‘bad.’

I need to get better at ping-pong, seriously.

'Bug' is a lab slang term for 'bacteria'

S: At work on a Sunday? What are you doin?
N: Watching bugs grow
S: Like actual insects?
N: Bacteria

3D TV’s are pretty damn cool. Probably not functional for all forms of television, but definitely worth it for the movies. I watched Kung Fu Panda 2, probably not the best movie in 3D, but still quite funny. SKADOOSH!

I need an new iPhone case. Apparently, the plain one I’m currently using isn’t ‘flamboyant’ enough, nor is it suitable for me. Should I be flattered?

My parents are definitely getting funnier as they get older. We had a family dinner for mother’s day and some funny shit went down. Here are some a couple of highlights: my dad knows how to text using smiley faces, my mom confused ‘Macarena’ (the dance) with ‘mackerel’ (the fish), my dad also thinks that fist bumping is like a handshake for basketball players and black people, my mom is awesome at trolling me in real life (she’s gotten good at asking irrelevant questions before I answer to throw off my train of thought). You’re awesome, Mom. I’m beautifully handsome because of you!

Funerals are times of celebration as well as mourning. The overwhelming support of family and friends brought tears to my eyes as I was fortunate enough to be part of a celebration of an inspiring young man who passed away at the age of 17. The siblings who showed the strength to push through tough times and organized such a wonderful celebration was incredibly inspiring. Reach out to a family member today and tell them you care…they will appreciate it.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.

Building burn, people die, but real love is forever

-Sarah, “The Crow”

  • Her: I feel so blah today
  • Me: Something the matter?
  • Her: I just told you
  • Me: Could be worse, ya know..
  • Her: How so?
  • Me: Your butt could fall off
  • Her: That'd be better, my ass is huge
  • Me: Love them curves in all the right places though
  • Her: lol I feel better

Absolutely true, read it and don’t be just a ‘nice guy’