The Evolved Male

"Live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be"

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A good question to ask yourself for the sake of self-evaluation

InnerGameGuy:

http://innergameattraction.com/about/why-inner-game/

Are you attractive to women?

If you’re anything like I was a year ago, you’re probably frustrated with your life. Specifically, you’re frustrated with your dating life. What if I told you that 90% of the guys I see are approaching attracting women completely wrong? I know, because a year ago I was doing it completely wrong too.

I even had a lot of things going for me: I was a smart, attractive guy. I had good style, a well-paying job, and I refused to be an asshole like all the other guys I saw having success with women. By all accounts, I should have been a catch.

Yet time and time again I’d go to bars or take girls out on dates, and maybe I’d get a makeout every now and then. But when it came time to take a girl back to my place she always seemed to have something better to do. Or was too tired. Or had to go return some videotapes.

So I tried harder. I got into better shape, learned how to be funnier, and even started learning to cook and give amazing massages. As my value went up I figured I’d start getting more dates and start attracting the high quality women every guy wants to attract. Except I started getting worse with women.

I couldn’t understand why my life was going nowhere.

And then, finally, last spring I had a revelation. A revelation that took me over 24 years to grasp:

It doesn’t matter what I had, the only thing that mattered in succeeding with women was how I saw myself.

To put it in pick up terms, I had been focusing entirely building solid outer game, and hadn’t been paying any attention to my inner game and personal development. I was a slave to other people’s wants and desires. I was defining myself based on my success with women, and I was getting nowhere.

I needed to reprogram the inner wiring of my brain and clear out all the negative thoughts that polluted my brain and made in virtually incapable of sparking attraction in desirable women. Before I could make a woman feel good about me I needed to feel good about myself.

Tyler Durden’s quote from Fight Club really struck a chord:

All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. 

I realized I had all the potential to be magnetically attractive to women already inside me, all I had to do was stop getting in my own way and get my inner game in order.

If any part of my story sounds eerily similar to your quest to get better with women, then read on. This site is a collection of the best information I used in my year-long transformation, and I hope I can help even one guy achieve the same kind of transformation I did. I’m far from being  a master PUA, but I’ve found some new ways of thinking that helped reprogram my brain and I know they can help you too.

The best part about working on your inner game is that the benefits spill over to other areas of your life beyond dating. Once I started to get a handle on my masculinity and how I interacted with women my life started improving all over. My social circle started growing, I started eating better and working out more, and I even got a promotion at work.

Now I don’t worry about what to say to a woman, or even how she’s going to react to me. I’m just unashamedly me, and everywhere I go women seem to be attracted to that fact.

Are you ready to unleash your potential and join the ranks of enlightened men?

Simple guidelines from a guy who knows what’s up.

jerimeysharp:

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1. Start A Tab

When I walk in a club, lounge, or bar I like to start a tab. Not because I’m some dude balling out of control and have plans to pop bottles all night.It keeps me from flashing money and sending off the wrong signals. When I approach a woman, and the conversation is…

Part 1 is here: http://evolvedmale.tumblr.com/post/4613214181/does-this-sound-familiar-part-1

Sam took a few seconds to take in what was said and replied ‘Thank you…but I’m afraid we’ll ruin what we have, I really treasure what we have.’

This confused Chris even more - Chris had no idea how to take it, dumbfounded and floored by Sam’s response.

Did it mean that Sam had the same feelings but was afraid of something?

Did it mean that Sam wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?

Did it mean that Sam didn’t have the same feelings but was trying to give a hint?

Did it mean that Chris hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that Chris needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let Sam know?

Chris couldn’t go on like this anymore…something had to happen. Chris had to make sure that Sam was aware by buying a symbolic gift and writing a letter, again expressing the feelings that dwelled within.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Sam didn’t reply - Sam disappeared for a few days.

Chris called a few days before getting in touch. Sam made an excuse about being busy and said ‘I’ll try to give you a call soon, I have to go’ and hung up.

…but Chris never got a call back.

This is the end of the story. Sound familiar? Now think about this, was Chris the guy or the girl? Was Sam the guy or the girl?

Is it still a familiar story?

Why did it sound familiar?
http://evolvedmale.tumblr.com/post/4658007886/why-did-it-sound-familiar-part-1

Once upon a time, Chris was very attracted to Sam. At first, Sam was just another person…but the more Chris got to know Sam, the more Chris began to feel attracted to Sam…and the more time Chris spent with Sam, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for Sam.

But there was a small problem - as Chris’ emotions grew stronger, Chris also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because Chris wasn’t sure if Sam felt the same way.

Sometimes, Sam would say things like ‘You’re special’ and ‘I like you’ but it seemed to never go past the friendship stage. Sometimes, there was a hug, or a light kiss on the cheek, or even an ‘accidental’ bumping of the hips…but Chris felt there was something wrong. Sam didn’t seem like a person who was ‘falling in love’ - Sam was just acting like a friend.

The insecurity became worse - Chris was more and more afraid of ‘messing things up’ by wanting more out of the relationship. And the more Chris became afraid, the ‘busier’ Sam got and spent less time with Chris.

After giving it much thought, Chris figured that if Sam knew how Chris truly felt, Sam would feel the same way. So Chris took a leap and told Sam about the feelings that were within…

Part 2 here: http://evolvedmale.tumblr.com/post/4633089904/does-this-sound-familiar-part-2

I don’t have a gray stripe of fur down my back, nor do I have a mane. I’m not an alpha male.

Wait…I’m not a gorilla or a lion - I guess I still could be alpha.

Part 1 here: http://evolvedmale.tumblr.com/post/4595819947/why-we-do-what-we-do-part-1

It’s okay to be motivated by sex. There are lots of good things about sex. Endorphins are released. Stress levels goes down. You burn calories. The positives are endless. It’s also pretty much against your will.

Males have a natural tendency to mate with as many females as possible so as to ‘plant their seed’ and have many offspring. Now, am I condoning this behavior? Certainly not. Just Google image search ‘fail’ and you’ll find many examples of people who shouldn’t procreate. The point is that males, through no fault of their own and through centuries of evolution, are trained to mate with as many females as possible so as to ensure that the progeny continues to carry forward healthy genes.

On the other hand, females are to seek out that one good guy, the breadwinner, the guy that’ll take care of her offspring. The guy who’ll protect his family at all costs. The guy who is supportive, loving, and caring for his counter-part and his offspring.

She needs one guy to take care of her and her offspring. He needs many girls to satisfy his biological urges.

Does that seem fair?

There are few things that are more motivating than sex. Of course there are other things that motivate us to do what we do…but sex is probably the most interesting one. It’s also the one we spend the most time adhering to. Seriously - think about it.

Are you done? Still not convinced? How many hours have you spent at the gym? How many times do you consider denying yourself the pleasures of ‘unhealthy’ foods? How many hours have you spent in front of the mirror? How much money have you spent on skin care products? How about make up? How about hair care products?

The answer to all of the previous is probably ‘countless.’ But that’s okay! No need to feel guilty or ashamed. No one will hold it against you for wanting to better yourself so that you can attract a partner. In fact, I think we should encourage it. In an age where we encourage people to be who they want to be, do what they want to do, say what they want to say - why not encourage them to do who they want to do?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs illustrates the things that drive human motivation. Each one of us is motivated by needs. Our most basic needs are inborn, having evolved over tens of thousands of years. We must satisfy each need in turn, starting with the bottommost, which deals with the most obvious needs for survival itself. 

Where does sex fall into all this? Yep, right there at the basic level (bottom) with the other physiological stuff we need to survive.

Any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions.
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