Recently, I had a conversation with someone and the question came up: is a guy born with alpha qualities or can one learn these qualities? It got me thinking about thinking about different characteristics of the alpha guy. Some alpha’s are outspoken and unreserved in their actions, while others are quiet and ‘behind the scenes’ types. They’ve got something that draws you to them. They’re strangely charming in their own ways. Their movements are seamless and natural. They’ve got it - you don’t.
Okay, that’s not completely true. It’s not that you don’t have it…you just don’t have it, well, not all the time anyway. It’s quite tough to be the alpha guy all the time. Each situation requires a different set of qualities to be successful. So it goes back to the aforementioned idea that there are many ‘styles’ of being the alpha guy. One thing that helps is being able to read the situation then assessing which alpha qualities you need to do well in the scenario. I’m not sure if it’s a skill to have or it just comes naturally with experience. Maybe some of you have some insight into this? (I’d appreciate your thoughts on this, use the ‘Your thoughts’ link above)
I’ve given some thought to the different styles of alpha-guyism. It’s clear that there are definitely different ways to being the alpha guy but to list them out and describe them might have been a little boring. Instead, I’ve put together a small list - the following list is of alpha guys from movies that I think guys can identify with and is in no particular order.
Captain Jack Sparrow from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’
He’s an asshole, he’s dishonest and he’s unreliable. Despite his negative traits, people like him. He’s got a certain charm about him. He’s got the ability to make bad news, no matter how shitty it is, seem not so bad. He’s got a way of spinning things to make things not as terrible as it actually is….this borderlines on honesty/dishonesty, but hey, at least it could have been worse! He’s the epitome of ‘it’s not what you say, but how you say it.’
What can one learn from Captain Jack?
Charm, charisma and creativity.
Agent 47 from ‘Hitman’
Guys fear him, girls are attracted him, well, the girl in the movie anyway; why? Because he’s so damn mysterious and he also doesn’t show any need or desperation for the girl. If you’ve seen the movie, it’s clear that he isn’t exactly smooth with girl but one can still learn a thing or two from the guy. Being mysterious is a trait that you can incorporate to your own personality as being spontaneous and unpredictable can be very appealing to some people. As for need for the girl…well, we know that immediate supplication to the girl (or anyone in general) is a bit of a turn off. An alpha guy should be able to resist the desire to show off and share everything as well as his desire for females.
What can one learn from Agent 47?
Mystification, subtlety and control.
Steve Stifler from ‘American Pie’
Let’s face it - it’s hard not to like this guy. He’s funny, confident and straight-forward with people. He’s a natural, however, he does have some pretty annoying traits. Stifler possesses the skills to meet and attract the opposite with consistency and success. I think most importantly, he’s confident…not only in his day to day interactions, but he’s clear when it comes to expressing his sexual wants and needs. It doesn’t hurt to be clear about your intentions as long as you’re not being exceedingly creepy and scaring people away. Playing the fake, cool guy will make you seem artificial and pretentious. Being honest and showing candor will show integrity and genuineness - all the more powerful when you’re confident about it.
What can one learn from Steve Stifler?
Humour, honesty and confidence.
John MacClane from ‘Die Hard’
He’s got values…and he’s tough as they come. Being the reluctant hero, he doesn’t mean to save the day - he’s just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. But at the end of the day, you can’t doubt his high values. He know there’s bad stuff goin down and he won’t just sit back and do nothing. Having values defines you as a person. Knowing when to do what’s right is not only something that makes you grow as an evolve male, but it shows that you’re not just a passive wussy - it shows that you’re willing to stand up for something. If you believe in something, no matter how tough or how shitty the situation may seem, you will do your best and strive to get it done and people will recognize and appreciate that.
What can one learn from John MacClane?
Values, integrity and principles
King Leonidas from ‘300’
If Jack Sparrow is the epitome of the ‘charming jerk,’ Leonidas is the epitome of leadership. Besides having an awesome physical stature, he’s a leader. He’s unquestionably well respected while showing a mutual respect for those he leads. His selfless sacrifice to protect his country is a clear indication of his dedication to his people. Having natural respect for people around will get you a lot farther than being a pretentious prick. Be honest and empathetic of people and you’ll find that people will naturally be drawn to you.
What can one learn from King Leonidas?
Leadership, respect and dedication
And there you have it. A short list of a few guys that you could take a few hints from. This list is obviously not a complete list, there are hundreds of other alpha guys out there. But at least there are few things you can learn from the guys I’ve listed here.