The Evolved Male

"Live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be"

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Posts tagged "hearing"


Part 4: Good Health

Having social qualities is important, not only in being attractive but life in general - let’s face it, life is going to be quite a bit more difficult and awkward if you don’t know how to deal with people. In addition, people are simply attracted to people who can carry themselves well in social situations.

Here are a few of my own personal practices, take and choose what you want:


Be like Bill

I’ve had the pleasure of attending an event where Bill Clinton was a guest speaker, and let me tell you, that dude is smooth and charming. It got me wondering why people liked him so much despite his history. I made careful observations of how he talked to people and figured out why he’s so awesome. Bill talks to individuals as though they are the only ones in the room. He makes them feel comfortable and appreciated when he talks to them. He maintains eye contact and he speaks in a calm and collected manner. He’s confident in what he says and when he’s not sure, he has not reservations about eliciting opinions of others. Be like Bill.


Assume that all females want to sleep with you.

Yea, this one is weird, some of you will appreciate this one, others will probably be offended. In any case, I talk to all members of the opposite gender with the assumption that they want to sleep with me. Now, this doesn’t mean that I actually carry out with that assumption (obviously, because that’d be just f*ckin weird) but what this does is help with confidence when you’re talking to someone you don’t really know. Here’s why it works for me; the notion that all females want to sleep with me is ridiculous enough - that fun and hilarious mindset is carried over into my demeanour. It lightens the mood and allows for a more casual composure, as opposed to the guys who are stressed, awkward, and generally weird to talk to. As such, I suppose I come across as a fun person to talk to…I can confidently say: it’s hard not to like me.


 Listen, not hear

I have a natural curiosity for everything. Those who know me can attest to this as I tend to ask questions and provide my own insights into things, isn’t that what having a conversation is all about?

People hear, but they don’t listen. A person speaks at a rate of 120-150 words per minute. The brain is capable of processing approximately 500 words per minute. So when we’re engaging in conversation, we’re only using about a quarter of the ‘bandwidth’ of our brains - so what does the brain do with all the extra ‘vacant bandwidth?’ It starts to wander.

It starts thinkin about anything - some people start thinking things they have to do later on, which explains why people seem so absent minded sometimes. While others may think ‘ahead of the conversation’ and make assumptions about where the conversation is going, which explains why some people are judgemental and assuming.

On a few occasions, peoples’ random thoughts slip into conversation. Once, I was having a conversation with someone and my mind started to wander off and started to think about…


When the person paused, it cued me to respond since they were waiting on a response from me. Having completely been tuned out for the last 10 seconds, I meant to respond with ‘I understand exactly what you’re talking about, I know all about it.’

I don’t think I need to explain how funny yet awkward it was when I actually said ‘I understand exactly what you’re talkin about, I know all about tits.’

With that being said, instead of letting your mind wander, use the extra ‘bandwidth’ to think about engaging questions on the subject matter. If not questions, consider providing some feedback or opinions of the discussion at hand. Ask the engaging questions that allow your counterpart to talk more about the topic if they’re showing excitement and great interest in it. Or redirect the conversation if they don’t seem to care much about it - use the bandwidth to craft how you’ll transition to the next topic.

….and stop staring at her tits!