She says you’re the ‘player-type.’ You can’t help but smile a little bit - you even laugh a little…now she’s got your attention because you’re hanging on to every word she’s going to say in the next few minutes.
She got it right - stroke your ego to get your attention, flash you a smile to entice you, and now, she’s judged you. Instead of being offended, you’re drawn by her words. You can’t help but listen now - you want more of it - more of this verbal foreplay. Well played, dear. Very well played.
She thinks you’ve got an endless phonebook of girls on the hook. Your days are always booked and there’s always some work/event/outing/social gathering. Her assumption may or may not be true but that’s the vibe she picks up on. She thinks you talk to her the same way you talk to everyone and you’re especially seductive when it comes to girls. You’ve got a charming personality - you come across as ‘easy to talk to’ and people feel comfortable talking to you, she’s no different. After all…she did meet up with you, didn’t she?
It’s flattering isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want the persona of being a ladies man? Who wouldn’t want the reputation of being the charming player? It really is a great compliment. It’s a nice boost to the ego, yea?
Give it a second thought. To you, you’re no different any another guy. Your perspectives might be a little different, but your actions are simply mediocre to you. You talk to everyone just the same and you’re indifferent to the pressures of upholding a certain image because you are the evolved male. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like any other guy. You brush your teeth, shave your face (among other areas) and check out girls just like any other guy. You’re really not that special. With that being said…what is it that makes you the ‘player-type’ in her eyes?
Being the evolved male, you’re immediately humbled by her ‘compliment.’ You, being the evolved male, also give it a second thought and realize…maybe it’s not all on you and it really isn’t all that flattering.
It’s no secret that well presented and confident people are naturally attractive. They have a certain appeal that stands out and a certain aura that captures attention. Of course, girls are attracted to guys who have the aforementioned attributes but there’s a certain irony - when they do meet a guy like that, their alarms go off. When they meet a guy who’s a bit different (for the better, of course), there are second thoughts about this kind of person. Why?
Every person has certain expectations that other people have to meet before they are labelled as ‘accepted.’ Of course, girls have these same expectations for guys - these expectations are especially important to know when meeting someone new. Each girl’s expectation is different based on her own experiences and values. Sadly, after meeting so many ‘average frustrated chumps,’ girls have a certain idea of guys who won’t meet their expectations, it’s almost like a pre-emptive assumption….the really sad part is when they meet someone who does meet or exceed their expectations, they’re surprised!
You’re not like those other average chumps who have failed in her past. You’re not that jerk who brags about how much money he has or how successful he is to overcompensate for his many failures with other girls. You’re not the timid wimp with the personality of a chair. You’re not the pothead who talks about smoking weed everyday, although in moderation, it’s certainly not a bad thing. You’re not the pretty-boy who clearly spent more time on his hair than she did. You’re not the try-hard who’s a different person in front of different people. You’re not the phony who talks ‘ghetto’ despite the fact that you’re clearly brought up in a well-to-do family. No - you’re certainly not any of these average frustrated chumps.
What you are…is something different to her. Just remember, the moment you meet her, even before you start talking, she’s already judging you and comparing you to other guys. And when you stand out from the norm, it’s too different to be immediately ‘acceptable.’ So girls go on with their thoughts, analyzing you every step of the way -‘How is this happening so naturally? He’s not creeping me out. He’s not awkward. He carries himself well and he’s confident without being a douchebag. Wow…he’s paying attention to what I’m saying! He’s only checked out my boobs once! How is this guy able to build my interest so quickly? Why am I suddenly so drawn to him?’ ….Because most previous encounters have been bad/failures/awkward, girls are surprised by a guy who has it in check.
Then…naturally being skeptical, they try to figure it out: ‘OHHH EMM GEEE (OMG), he must do this all the time, that’s why it’s so easy. He must be a player!’
And suddenly, all the good things that were appealing before may be held against us - all the good things that drew her to you are questioned by her. That which starts sweet, ends bitter….or does it?
Gentleman, take this challenge as a sincere form of flattery. Show her that you are the evolved male and better than the average chumps she has encountered. Know that you have already peaked her interest. Know that the ebb and flow of this game we call ‘relationships’ has begun, and it is a cruel and exciting journey….know all of this to be true, because..why else would she have given you a second thought?