If you’re anything like I was a year ago, you’re probably frustrated with your life. Specifically, you’re frustrated with your dating life. What if I told you that 90% of the guys I see are approaching attracting women completely wrong? I know, because a year ago I was doing it completely wrong too.
I even had a lot of things going for me: I was a smart, attractive guy. I had good style, a well-paying job, and I refused to be an asshole like all the other guys I saw having success with women. By all accounts, I should have been a catch.
Yet time and time again I’d go to bars or take girls out on dates, and maybe I’d get a makeout every now and then. But when it came time to take a girl back to my place she always seemed to have something better to do. Or was too tired. Or had to go return some videotapes.
So I tried harder. I got into better shape, learned how to be funnier, and even started learning to cook and give amazing massages. As my value went up I figured I’d start getting more dates and start attracting the high quality women every guy wants to attract. Except I started getting worse with women.
I couldn’t understand why my life was going nowhere.
And then, finally, last spring I had a revelation. A revelation that took me over 24 years to grasp:
It doesn’t matter what I had, the only thing that mattered in succeeding with women was how I saw myself.
To put it in pick up terms, I had been focusing entirely building solid outer game, and hadn’t been paying any attention to my inner game and personal development. I was a slave to other people’s wants and desires. I was defining myself based on my success with women, and I was getting nowhere.
I needed to reprogram the inner wiring of my brain and clear out all the negative thoughts that polluted my brain and made in virtually incapable of sparking attraction in desirable women. Before I could make a woman feel good about me I needed to feel good about myself.
Tyler Durden’s quote from Fight Club really struck a chord:
All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
I realized I had all the potential to be magnetically attractive to women already inside me, all I had to do was stop getting in my own way and get my inner game in order.
If any part of my story sounds eerily similar to your quest to get better with women, then read on. This site is a collection of the best information I used in my year-long transformation, and I hope I can help even one guy achieve the same kind of transformation I did. I’m far from being a master PUA, but I’ve found some new ways of thinking that helped reprogram my brain and I know they can help you too.
The best part about working on your inner game is that the benefits spill over to other areas of your life beyond dating. Once I started to get a handle on my masculinity and how I interacted with women my life started improving all over. My social circle started growing, I started eating better and working out more, and I even got a promotion at work.
Now I don’t worry about what to say to a woman, or even how she’s going to react to me. I’m just unashamedly me, and everywhere I go women seem to be attracted to that fact.
Are you ready to unleash your potential and join the ranks of enlightened men?
Here are rules I made up that I personally am going to do for the next 30 days, and if they work, forever.
- Don’t initiate.
No asking someone out. No asking for a number. No texting first. No. If the guy likes me, he will do this. I chalk it up to me being “aggressive” and “independant” and a “go-getter” but really, it just creates a relationship where I’m chasing and in the end, I’m the only one putting in the time to make it work.
- No late night hang-outs.
If you like me, you will want to see me before 8:30 at night. Also, not in your room either. Take me out like a woman, thanks.
- Text like a tennis match.
Someone told me texting is a lot like tennis. Once someone serves you the ball, hit it back. But, if they don’t get it back to you then really, you have nothing to hit. So, why do we send a text if we haven’t gotten a response when in real life, if someone doesn’t throw something back to you, you’d just leave it be.
- Cut the “!”
I sound way too eager. I get excited and happy! “Hey! That sounds great!” Barf.
- If someone does something wrong, tell them it’s not cool then drop it.
If they don’t apologize or seem sincere about their mistake, don’t see them again. It’s that easy. It might suck, but if they don’t care then you can’t force ‘em to.
- Say goodbye at the door.
Taking it back to the old school days, even if they’re someone I’ve been friends with or went out with before. No going inside after a date until intentions are understood and trust is built.
- Be busy.
My bff suggested to “not care”, no checking the phone, no checking Facebook, just be busy and get on with life. Fill time with friends and hobbies. Seems easy enough, but sometimes when you like someone you forget about everything else. Don’t do it! Keep living and someone awesome should justfitinto your life without a hiccup.
- Master challenge:
She suggested I leave my phone at home for an evening. Big move, but, definitely necessary sometimes.