To my one and only…
It’s likely that you’ll never see this
It’s something you’ll never read
But it’s something that I need to share
Because of what you mean to me
You’ve always been there with me
Through all the thick and thin
As far as I can remember
You were always there within
Whenever I was at my worst
You’ve always pulled me through
And whenever you were at your best
I could always count on you
It’s sad to say, when I was cold
You still did what you could
And even though I’ve hurt you
You always made me good
In over my head, and much outdone
I always went unknowing
When times were rough and I was down
You always kept me going
In the past, I treated you wrong
I abused our special connection
Despite my wrong, you were there with me
Always there for my protection
I’m only a man, I’m not afraid
to express my humility
With that being said, as all guys lack,
I have no sensibility
And now I know, that to go on like this,
will end in something tragic
I’ll do better, it’ll take time,
it just doesn’t happen by magic
No longer will I hurt you,
with all the drugs and booze
Gone will be the pain and liquor,
and other things profuse
I’ll no longer let those things,
become and tear us apart
From now you’ll be as close to me,
as close as my own beating heart
As time will come, I’ll do you better,
because you’ll always be my dear
To my one and only liver,
let’s enjoy a beer!
2 shots of confidence and a fuzzy navel, please.
This guy knows what’s up.
First step to being awesome: accepting yourself and not giving too much of a fuck about what others think
Second step to being awesome: have a theme song!
Here are some of mine.
Morning Feel Good:
Spencer Davis Group - Gimme Some Love
Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Mid-Day Feel Good:
Filter featuring Crystal Method - Trip Like I Do
Wind-down Feel Good:
Michael Jackson - Man in the Mirror
What are your theme songs?
Within 7 seconds of meeting someone, they have already made judgments about you. Sometimes this works towards our advantage (if our last name is Pitt), but for the most part we as animals innately and subconsciously pick out things we don’t like about some else as a self defense mechanism. Whether you’re on the street, meeting your boyfriend’s cliquey and obnoxious friends from home that only speak the language “Remember that time”, or most importantly, going into a job or interview, people will judge you. Its going to happen, every second of your life. And lets be honest, I am by no means the expert of confidence. It takes me 45 minutes to style my hair with 3 different types of “pomade” until I realize I look like the spawn of Lady Gaga and Flock of Seagulls and just put on a hat. But then I practice a few things that help make me that less insane of a person.
1. Acknowledgment
Acknowledge that this is a way of life; that we as human beings size each other up in every aspect of life, whether its competitive or not. Once you come to this acceptance, you become less affected by the negativity and pressures around you. And be honest with yourself. Know your flaws but highlight what makes you unique. Remind yourself every morning before you walk out that door: You is KIND. You is Smart. And you is Important. Ok, fine I stole that from The Help but bitch knew what she was talking about.
Example: I just came back from a vacation and I KNOW I look like an hairy unshaven red ass lobster, BUT Im still skinny. So red is the new tan and that’s that.
2. Have A Theme Song
Everyone should have THAT song ready to play on your iPod, computer, or CD Player (thats for you Grammy) that kicks them back into gear. You know it very well. Its that song that you usually first discover when you are wasted, and probably rhymes with Mitney Fears. It also may change week to week, but its that song that no matter how many times your Facebook stock goes down, you can play it and your lazy eye becomes that much more invisible again. So you have an audition that went horribly? Pop in some Bon Jovi. Your boss threw you under the bus at work ? Crank up the Lifehouse. (Ok, lets be honest, NO ONE listens to Lifehouse). But you get the point. Your life should turn into a cartoon with birds singing and bunnies dancing (without Summer leaving you and getting married at the end).
Example: I just checked my bank account and it says Honey Boo-Boo Child Alana Thompson makes more than me in 3 hours. Did I cry? Maybe. But I also made me some gogo juice, turned on some Bugaboo by Destiny’s Child, and I feel like a million
crackheadsbucks.And if neither of these two tricks work, take a quick refresher at the title of my
columnblog and remember that NO ONE knows what you are thinking or feeling inside except you (and your therapist) so fucking fake that shit til you make it.Until next time.
The Con Actor
